Race Relations - How Far We've Come

This was an SNL sketch from way back in the day. It was hilarious then but would touch off a fire storm now, have we really progressed or regressed over the years?

President Pelosi?

Has it occurred to anyone, but me, there’s something radically wrong with the way Congress is running since the Democrats took over again? Not that it was ever running smoothly but lately it seems even feebler than usual. You know you’re in trouble when Mr. Bush has a better approval rating than you do. I’m pretty sure Charles Manson has a better approval rating then Mr. Bush. It’s pretty difficult to suck worse than this administration and yet the 110^th Congress has managed to pull it off.

The main reason we have the triad governmental system (Executive, Legislative and Judicial – for those that missed civics class that week) was to ensure checks and balances, you know “Government of the people, by the people and for the people.” Sound familiar to anyone??? The Legislative branch is supposed to be the group that maintains order for all - the common sense factor, if you will. They can create laws, declare war, regulate the budget and other than the power of the purse their main weapon is subpoena power.

Like the courts themselves Congress can also summon people to appear under oath. In fact if one is found to be in contempt of Congress an arrest warrant can be issued and the Sergeant At Arms can actually arrest you. In short, Congress was given mirroring powers in relationship to the other branches of government. You don’t really want to mess with Congress if you can avoid it, or at least one would think.

Apparently the Bush administration must have pictures of last year’s holiday party or something. Maybe they dug up some interesting stuff with their warrantless wire taps or Congress is afraid of ending up at Gitmo – upside down and gasping for air? Whatever the reason, this congress refuses to investigate this administration. One truly has to wonder why that is? At the very lease you’d think they’d want to get to the bottom of why we are now stuck in the quagmire that is Iraq. Maybe take a stab at finding out why the Attorney General’s office fired all those people? How about accounting for all that money that is hemorrhaging out of Iraq?

Clearly there are a number of questions that need to be answered, but there’s something even more insidious afoot here. Arguably the main attribute of the basic politician is ambition. Oh sure, they’ll spew that “wanting to work towards the common good” dribble or “one person CAN make a difference” line but that’s just so they can get elected in the first place. I’m pretty sure it’s the egomaniacal, Napoleonic, megalomaniacal aspects of their twisted personalities that drives their desire to seek public office. Digest that for a moment before considering what I’m about to lay on you.

OK ready? Here we go. Nancy Pelosi has risen to the highest political point of any female in the history of the country. She is literally two heartbeats, or lack there of, from the presidency itself. As Speaker of the House she stands second in line to the President. Now some of you are thinking, “what about Condoleezza?” What about her – just kidding, she’s actually fourth in line behind Robert Byrd as the President Pro Tempore of the Senate (Here ends the civic lesson). Basically, should something happen to the both the President and VP the Speaker becomes the President of the United States.

Of course what could happen to both the Pres and VP simultaneously? I mean what are the chances of that? What could possibly happen to the current leaders of the Executive branch? Oh - I don’t know let’s say HIGH TREASON, PURGERY, WAR CRIMES, EMBEZZLEMENT , CRIMES AGAINST HUMINTY, OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE, INVASION OF PRIVACY, ILLEGAL PROSECUTION, UNLAWFUL DETENTION, etc. I’m sure I’ve missed something but I’m pretty sure you’re feelin’ me at this point.

At the very least there is clearly a big enough scandal to force the current administration out in disgrace. Hell Watergate was just a freakin’ burglary. Any second rate politician should have been able to exploit the situation for his/her own political gain. All Nancy Pelosi had to do was bring formal charges against Twiddle Dumb and Twiddle Dumber and she would have been the first female leader of the free world. George and Dick would have hot-footed it out of office way before articles of impeachment were ever drawn up. WHAT THE HELL is wrong with Nancy? There has to be a serious reason this obvious ascension to power was not seized.

Letter to Democratic Party Leadership

With all due respect,

“History is a relentless master. It has no present, only the past rushing into the future. To try to hold fast is to be swept aside.”
John F. Kennedy

We have a unique opportunity to not only avoid being swept aside, as in President Kennedy’s quote, but to actually become a part of history in the making. As with most opportunities an actual call to action is needed to bring it to fruition. Enclosed is an open letter to former Vice President Al Gore. The letter serves as the prerequisite call to action not only for Mr. Gore but all party officials to follow the lead of Gov. Richardson and fully back a candidate before irreparable damage is done to the Democratic Party and the country as a whole.

The current “scorched earth” campaign cannot be allowed to go on unchecked. It serves no purpose other than to divide the country and all but hand the presidency to the Republican Party. Why allow this to continue when the so called super delegates will have to decide this nomination in the end regardless of the outcome of the primaries? Letting this campaign deteriorate into a vicious racially charged quagmire for the sake of political safety is tantamount to aesthetically arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

Before you now is the rare opportunity to transcend conventional political wisdom and implement pure and simple logic. Put simply, a chance to actually do the proverbial “right thing.” Instead of sitting back to see out this fleshes itself out and then making the prudent political maneuver, take the initiative and halt the flesh eating virus the current campaign is rapidly becoming. The remaining upcoming primaries will do little if anything to unravel the Gordian knot the Democratic nomination has become. In fact they may actually make the situation worse than it is now, if that is even imaginable.

Swift and definitive action must be taken immediately to decide this race. The full inimitable support of the highest profile super delegates should be thrown behind the candidate the people have clearly chosen thus far to be their choice of nominee. Waiting for the conclusion of the Pennsylvania ballot or any others for that matter will only fuel the flames that will eventually consume the party’s chances for victory and quite possibly the party itself.

Respectfully,

Damon

Letter to AL

March 12, 2008

Mr. Gore,

Let me apologize in advance for I am sure there is some sort of protocol that I’m failing to observe and I know there is a more eloquent and/or politically correct approach to this endeavor but I fear time will not permit finding it. We (as in WE the People) are in desperate need of your help. Your absence in the current Presidential race has caused a vacuum of reality and apparently common sense.

Although I truly thought you would run this year I respect your decision not to. It is clearly our loss not to have you as the Democratic nominee and inevitable President Elect. However, there may be a mixed blessing involved because I believe there is a candidate that will bring a lot of the qualities you possess to the White House, if given the opportunity.

Before I try to make the case for which candidate is best, permit me to make the presupposition that the vast majority would agree the campaign for the Democratic nominee has taken an almost assured fatal turn for the worst. One candidate’s scorched earth, “kitchen sink” approach to this campaign will only serve to elect Sen. McCain to the office of President and undoubtedly give us at least four more years of the current administration for all intents and purposes.

I freely admit I am not one of the all knowing, all seeing pundits, political devotees or extremists by any stretch of the imagination. To be brutally honest I’ve never been all that concerned about politics past its intrinsic entertainment value. What little interest I did have was thoroughly depleted by the current administration. And much to my disgrace, I’ve never actually voted or even registered to vote – until now. I registered as a Democrat and voted in the California primary for the first time, as did many others. Like those others I was inspired by Sen. Barack Obama to actually get in the game, if you will, instead of merely jeering from the peanut gallery.

Pardon the digression but for what it’s worth, I did stay up all night in 1999 to make sure you had won and I went to bed happy and secure in the thought of you as President, narrowly avoiding what I knew would be a catastrophe in the making. Man, that next morning sucked in ways I can’t even pronounce, as I’m sure you are quite aware.

To put it bluntly, what we need is someone of your stature to put an end to the divisive, win at any and ALL cost politics that will undoubtedly rip the Democratic Party apart and snatch defeat from the jaws of victory once again. It is clear the so called “Super Delegates” will decide the outcome of our primary season. If this is a forgone conclusion what purpose is served by letting an egomaniacal campaign destroy the domestic tranquility that would be brought forth by a campaign of unity and hope?

Clearly the country needs a diametric change from the policies of the current administration. Senators Clinton and McCain are running on their respective experience which quite frankly translates to politics as usual in the long run. Sen. Obama will have to find a fresh approach by simple default. His very being automatically excludes him from the “good ‘ol boys” network that has put us in the position we are in presently. Although he will have to adapt and overcome many obstacles, which is assuredly nothing new for him, he will have to do it in a way that has never been done before thus guaranteeing the change we so desperately need.

Please, for the general welfare - lead the way for the other party officials and Super Delegates to end the attack on common decency, race/gender relations, hope and unity. Throw your complete support behind the candidate you see as most fit for the job that was rightfully yours with as much alacrity as possible. Use your considerable clout and keep Napoleon’s dogs at bay.

Sincerely,

D

Hillary IS a Monster

Wow, just when you thought it was safe to have faith in the democratic process or the human condition in general Hillary and her team drags us back down into the primordial ooze. I think Sen. Obama’s campaign person got it right – Hillary is a monster. She’s like one of those teenage slasher or 50’s “B” movie monster that just won’t die when there supposed to.

If you had any doubts or questions about the differences between the Presidential candidates it should be painfully obvious to you now Sen. Clinton and for the most part Sen. McCain are “politics as usual.” If change is really what everyone wants Barack Obama is our man.

Hillary as clearly shown what she’s like when the heat is on. If she’s not crying she’s trying to create a race war, all in an effort to be President. If you listen to her speeches she always says “I” as in I will fight for you and “I” will get things done “I”, “I”, “I”. Where as both the other candidates more often than not use “we”. “We” can get it done together. “We’ll” take back Washington. The true irony here is her win at all cost, “kitchen sink” strategy will all but hand the Presidency to John McCain. Without a doubt, in her mind any – it’s all about her.

I’d truly like to know what her plan is. Does she actually think she can all but call Sen. Obama a lazy nigger and hope everyone has forgotten or forgiven just in time for the general election? NEWS FLASH - we would rather see four more years of Bush before we win on a racist platform of any kind. Hillary has resorted to the Karl Rove divide and concur, say anything, (50 +1%) strategy of politics. This is particularly effective given that people are basically stupid as a whole. The problem with it however, is that it discounts the saving grace of people being only SO stupid. Unfortunately for Hill, and the Republicans in general their boy George used up all the stupid and then some over the last eight years.

Funny - no one on Hillary’s team was so concerned about the Florida or Michigan delegates when she was the presumptive favorite to win the nomination. The “he’s not ready to be Prez but he could be my VP” so you can have both if you vote for me okay doke is targeted to those lesser educated, not so quick individuals that seem to make up Hillary’s base. Having her surrogates run around saying her opponent wouldn’t be where he is today if he was white or female is just more of the same as well as being patently ridiculous. I’m sure it’s not easy being a woman in a right handed white man’s world but try being a left handed black named Barack.

If everything here to fore isn’t enough to make you reject Hillary consider this, why do the Republicans want to face her in the general election so much? I’m guessing it’s because they’ve spent the last two years plus tooling up for this fight, falling into the same presumptive trap Hillary herself fell into, and now posses nuclear bombs they will drop on her hard, fast and continuously. They weren’t expecting a nuke proof, stealth candidate to suddenly appear and save the day.

If Barack is their opponent they’re completely screwed. Hillary will have already thrown the “kitchen sink” at him, using their best tricks to no avail, where will they go from there? Pointing out he’s black won’t work any better for them. They probably don’t want to emphasize his youth considering their man is so old his social security number is carved in hieroglyphics on a piece of stone. Barack has never supported the war and never said he didn’t know much about economics so what’s left to attack him with?

Hillary, on behalf of the Democratic Party, black and all other minorities, women that will seek the Presidency in the future and the people of the United States of America in general – PLEASE step aside and get with the program of real change with the next President of the US, Barack Obama.

Time Travelers

Ever wonder if time travel was possible? Well wonder no longer because it is and you’ve probably done it yourself a time or two. WARNING – this one requires some jr. high school math (middle school for those born in the 70’s or later, high school for those that were a little slow) and a tiny bit of imagination.

Now you have to accept a few things up front to grasp this thoroughly. First, time is a man made concept. The same applies to math while we’re at it. Also, we’re going to take a few liberties with physics and reality but we won’t get too far beyond the realm of sanity, I promise.

OK, let’s take a trip down memory lane real quick. Remember this (d = r X t) or the “dirt” theorem? (d) Distance equals ( r) Rate of speed multiplied by (t) Time. So let’s say it takes you two hours to travel 100 miles, using the formula we know you were going 50 (mph) miles per hour (100 = 2 X 50). Basic algebra lets us work the formula for the other variables just as easily (d / r = t and d / t = r) so as long as we know as least two of the variables we can find the remaining one. OK, that ends the math lesson – still with me or do you need a minute for the smoke pouring out of your ears to clear?

Suppose you had the kind commute and you lived approximately 30 miles from your place of business. If you averaged 30 mph on your daily drive we know it would take you an hour to get to work every day, day in and day out, one day after another for years and years. We can go through the math again here but if you haven’t gotten by now - not feeling good about your chances of ever getting it. Just take my word for it at this point.

SO – somewhere along the line one day you’re going to get up a little late. The alarm clock doesn’t go off, massive hang over, the significant other is looking particularly hot this AM – whatever the reason, you’re late for work. You jump out of bed, race through your morning routine and scramble to the car. Just like everyone else in this predicament you fly down the street putting your seatbelt on halfway down the street standing on the accelerator. For some reason only known to you safety and traffic laws are trumped by your need to get to work on time.

Averaging a speed of 45 mph you magically get to work in only 40 minutes where it usually takes you a full hour. Yes, there was more math in there somewhere but I thought I would save you the grief at this point. Realizing you don’t have to get up at the crack of dawn anymore you adjust your alarm clock accordingly to give yourself a few extra minutes of sleep (yea U).

Uh oh, there’s that pesky snooze button again, guess who’s late for work? Kickin’ in the emergency procedures as usual you zoom to work at 60 miles an hour this time getting there in only 30 minutes. You’ve gotten to work in half the time it took you originally by going twice as fast to get there, presupposing you aren’t on the side of the road explaining it to Barney Fife, life is good.

OK, now you’re just being flat out lazy – late again, you suck. Putting the public at risk once again you scream down the thoroughfare at a blistering 90 mph getting to work in just about 20 minutes. Providing you haven’t wrapped yourself around a telephone pole in the process you’ve made it on time once again.

I’m going out on a limb here and assume a good number of us have followed one or more of these scenarios in some fashion at one time or another. Up until now this has been completely feasible. We’ve all given it a little gas to get where we wanted to go a little quicker, hell it’s only illegal if you get caught right? Now let’s get crazy with it.

At 120 mph you could get to work in only 15 minutes, one quarter of the time it took you originally. Good luck explaining that one to your insurance company by the way. Of course you must have a really good job to be able to afford a car that goes 120 mph so maybe money ain’t a thang in your case, but then why are you beating to work like an idiot everyday? Stay with me, that won’t be the last paradox we run into before all is said and done.

The astute have figured out by now every time you double your speed you cut your travel time in half. So at 240 mph, in your Murcielago (a really cool car, Lamborghini that you cannot afford) you streak past the local constabulary and arrive in 7.5 minutes. And at 480 mph you get there in 3 minutes and 15 seconds, defying the laws of physics and common sense along the way. Well, actually the world land speed record is 763.035 MPH - Mach 1.0175 set by Andy Green and Richard Noble, so we’re still in the realm of reality - as long as the Bonneville Salt Flats are the route you take to work. In case you’re wondering that speed would get you to work in a little over 6 seconds (see how I drop a little trivial knowledge on you when you’re not lookin’).

Here it is in a nutshell, given increased speed decreases time spent traveling a fixed distance we can logically conclude there is a speed that will get us where we need to go in no time flat. No, I mean literally no elapsed time between the time you leave and the time you arrive. Let’s call that speed X. We know 30mph got us to work in an hour and 60 cut that time in half so there’s no doubt that increasing our speed lowers our time in transit. There has to be a speed that gets us there in 0 time, we’ve dubbed this speed X mph. So what happens when you go X + 1?

If X mph gets you there in zero time flat, X + 1 must get you there in some time less than zero. How exactly does that work, do you get there before you leave? And if so, do you pass yourself along the way? Can you be two places at once or do you ever catch up to the original you? Remember that paradox I promised you, well there you go.

I’m pretty sure my arithmetic was sound but if I made an error along the way I humbly apologize. The mathematical and physics concepts themselves are solid. Chew on that for a while and if you come up with some answers, by all means, please let me know.

Conservative Police State - Sieg Heil (Seek Help)

OK, I know sieg heil is actually German for “hail victory” but the hip already smell what I’m about to stir-fry here.

Ever notice those calling themselves staunch conservatives are usually just try to tell you what you can do with your genitals or modify your behavior in some way? What’s with that, don’t they have genitals of their own to play with? Apparently they spend a lot time worrying about you letting “the wrong sort” play with yours or what medical procedures you may have done to or through them. They also seem real concerned about aliens, sedition and what particular flavor of religious kool-aide you consume or perhaps consumes you, depending on your point of view.

In all fairness, the lunacy of a few reflects poorly on the sanity of the masses. The conservative body politic is by and large made up of rational individuals. Believing in a smaller - fiscally responsible government, lower tax burdens, a strong national defense and above all the Constitution the average right winger isn’t all that bad. Their ideology, taken in moderation and mixed with a little compassion - actual compassion, not just the campaign slogan the last administration slapped on a bumper sticker, is sound and accepted by many moderates on the left and right of the ubiquitous political aisle.

Unfortunately, the conservative movement has been commandeered by jack booted, brown shirt right wing nuts. As with any organization of this magnitude the fringe elements can wreak havoc. Much like what al Qaeda has done for Islam and Jerry Farwell and his Moral Majority did for Christianity, the wing nuts make it all but impossible for any but the truly delusional to subscribe to their madness. Although Jerry is hopefully facing the monocle wearing black hat of judgment in the after life as we speak, the Evangelical fringe that previously hung on his every breath continues the tradition of judging thy neighbor.

Disenfranchised people make easy targets for the nefarious and unscrupulous. David Koresh (Branch Davidians), Marshall Applewhite (Heavens Gate) and Jim Jones (People's Temple) can easily testify to this simple fact. Or at least they could if they didn’t get wrapped up in their own scams and off themselves along with the vast majority of their unfortunate followers. Although those are extreme cases the basic principal is the same for those that followed Jerry Farwell, Jim & Tammy Faye Baker, Jimmy Swaggart and Ted Haggard who all found it impossible to live up to their own lofty standards and were publicly disgraced in some manor. The whole “do as I say, while I get my freak on” thing wasn’t working for everyone it seems.

Where did the wheels come off and why didn’t it stop the crazy train? See this is what happens when you don’t learn from history. The last society that was so intolerant, that monitored its citizens and deprived them of basic rights, that unjustly imprisoned and tortured them and led them into an unwarranted act of aggression we called the Third Reich. Are we really actually witnessing the inception of the Forth Reich? Is Karl Rove channeling Adolph Hitler in some nouveau fascist fashion? What happened to “never again”?

I don’t particularly grasp all aspects of homosexuality and I can’t say I approve of the life style. Fortunately for them my approval isn’t necessary for their continued existence. I’m not much for gay marriage either. Subsequently, I personally will never marry a gay man. However, I will happily attend the gay ceremony of a friend, if invited. IF by some extreme unforeseen twist of fate I do end up married to a gay man you best believe neither of us will be having any abortions anytime too soon. Of course that’s a personal choice, as well as a biological one – what you choose to do with your own uterus is completely up to you. Moreover, what does any of this have to do with the ability to shoot straight? I mean literally shoot straight. If we’re side by side in a trench or back to front in a fighter jet I’m not going to be real concerned with your orientation (male/female or undecided) at that particular moment in time.

When all is said and done I say anything any willing and able individuals consent to do amongst themselves in privacy is all good and in no need of legislation or judgment of any kind.